In retrospect
Firstly, I have indeed been keeping personal posts off the Feisty site. In my blogging frenzy I decided to stick to a more professional format. This morning I woke up and thought to myself that we are all “just human”? and that we all go through universal emotions and experiences in life. My conclusion – it was fundamentally stupid to deny this by not posting personal updates. The Feisty blog changed my life drastically – it has changed my career, it has changed the people I interact with, the friends I make and it has provided me with exposure. Exposure that was not anticipated at all when I wrote my first blog post. With this post, I would like to share my thoughts on a “personal life experience”?, and sincerely hope that it impacts those that read it.
I lost someone incredible special.
A person who came into my life with an air of quiet confidence. From day one this person challenged my thinking, transformed me and shifted my life into a completely different orbit. Many a blog post was inspired by this extremely talented, brilliant individual. The warmth and love added to my life provided immeasurable fulfillment and satisfaction. I miss this person tremendously. I don’t miss for the sake of missing or because of pure habit. I miss the actual person. Hell, I even miss the things that drove me up the wall and irritated me beyond measure. I miss the fiddling, the French movies, the nutty professor thing, the towel on the floor, the teasing, and the workaholic notions. In retrospect I loved a whole lot more than I thought I did and could ever imagine.
I regret having replaced appreciation with expectation. Expecting the impossible is fantastic in work context – as you have no limits, no boundaries. In my case it also makes it impossible to give up on businesses and things I have set my mind to [even if logic tells me to do so – passion will drive the experience]. Unfortunately this tactic just adds strain to human relationships. After loosing this person, I have so many regrets. I was unappreciative, careless, unrealistic, impossible, critical and demanding beyond measure. I dragged bad past experiences with me and never let them go. There are so many things I would change if I had a second chance. There are so many things that I realized and learnt too late.
I generally don’t look back, and up till now I have had no regrets. I definitely don’t sit around moping and missing out on life. Life’s too short for that right? Despite my “deal with it and move on approach”? loosing this person has had a huge impact on me. I have gone through everything from shock to anger, to sadness.
So here is my message for today:
Generally we all have only ONE chance.
And lastly
Don’t learn these things the hard way and in hindsight. Don’t waste these special moments and opportunities. Don’t lose out on something astounding. It’s never to late to change the wrongs/mistakes to what can be unbelievably spectacular. The trick is to do it when you realize it – and not postpone till its too late.
19/12/2007 at 6:20 pm
Bev, I was the same as you. Never posted anything that had to do with feelings or were slightly personal until one day. I wrote about me and what affects my life. It was eye opening and made feel so much better.
We tend not to appreciated things while we have it. They day when we loose it, is when we think why oh why was I so stupid.
Marius
20/12/2007 at 10:42 pm
Thanks for the comment Marius. I guess we are all just human!
Reading about stories and thoughts from other people, always makes me think about my life thoughts and actions. I am hoping my experiences will touch other people in the same way.