*scream* Business and family
Three things:
- I love, live and breathe business. Naturally that is mostly what I talk about, or at least enjoy talking about. (I confess, I don’t give a rats-arse about the latest Batman movie)
- I’m currently working with two great companies and some smaller clients in a pumping industry.
- Occasionally, I want to share my excitement and good news with my family. They are the most important people in my life and I truly value their opinion and feedback.
The problem is – they really don’t get it. Despite attempts made by myself, I don’t think they grasp my work, my days or even my passion for business. Never mind passion – obsession with business. I know I’m not the easiest chick to talk to. I live in my own bubble and generally I’m impatient whilst explaining the obvious. Still, I do try.
It’s a problem that keeps reoccurring. It frustrates me that I can’t share and discuss business and career-related news with them. I get met with an uninterested “that’s nice dear” attitude. Rather discouraging, while I ooze excitement, ideas and hope for the future. (At one point I did wonder if it was me doing anything wrong…)
I ask myself why I still get upset about this, having been in business for four years? I can’t explain why this is important to me. I go through phases where I try and explain and mention the milestones and achievements to them. Inevitably I give up and go into shut down mode. If I don’t discuss business with them, then I can’t be discouraged when I am met with a lack of enthusiasm, right?
This is actually so important and high on my priority list, that I had a shocking realisation. I might have stuck it out with the last guy I dated (for close on two years), just for the business/innovation education alone. I guess there’s a lot to learn from both good examples and horrible warnings.
I realize that the lack of understanding by my family will never change, and its largely part to a big generation gap (my sister is 23, I’m 25, my mom 53 and my dad 75). Apart from that, how can I expect them to be in touch with it all? I live life at 360 km per hour and run through life phases as if I were changing gears in a formula one race. I adapt and shift into the next gear with phenomenal speed – and I really jam a lot into any given day.
Bottom-line: I love them more than anything else in this world. I know they love me. I know they want the best for me and I know they are proud of me (thus far). To fill the gap I found myself a kick-arse mentor who mentors me on career/business issues. It has done wonders for me in the last three months. Her input as a friend and in a professional sense has been a life-saver.
I need to discuss business challenges and concerns with someone, don’t you?
13/11/2008 at 8:56 pm
i am so sorry they don’t get it. that can be immensely frustrating. my family doesn’t really understand my job either- but they at least try to get excited when i am… or pretend to
14/11/2008 at 12:16 pm
I understand your frustration and I’m happy that you’ve found a solution (mentor). I know how important it is to be able to share yourself with your family though. Maybe they don’t realise how important your work is to you, or what a fundamental part of your joy it is. Maybe if you laid it out directly and specifically they would be like, ‘oh, we never realised that’ - or something. Sometimes we assume that people close to us know what’s important to us… when they honestly just don’t. Otherwise… just accept that, and do what you’re doing… and enjoy it all the same.
14/11/2008 at 12:46 pm
Yip, sure do. Difference is between educating and discussing I guess.
At least you recognise the limitations and work around it. And you seem to have surrounded yourself with other quality that you can have those business challenges and concerns with, its just a matter of trusting one of them enough. Which is not easy.
As you said…
*scream*
18/11/2008 at 8:43 am
There is nothing worse that your family not understanding exactly what you do and then they think that your job is really not that stressful as theirs is and this really makes me want to pull my hair out.
20/11/2008 at 4:05 pm
Boy am I stoked you wrote this post. Now I can refer people somewhere whenever I’m in a social gathering and just want to throw something at a person talking about soccer.
It just seems we don’t talk about the adventure of business.
Great post. Thanks to you I don’t feel inadequate, like a nerd who should be locked up.
21/11/2008 at 12:45 pm
adorations from anther nerd who’s glad you’re in his world ;0)
ps. i nominated you for a marie antoinette award
22/11/2008 at 5:18 pm
Angel - thanks for the comment love, I really appreciate it.
Candy - That is a really good point, I might just do that when I get back home. Thanks for stopping by
Darren - I guess life is an art after all.
Mongezi - Hallo there! Don’t you dare feel inadequate! Only one of us can feel like this at a time - and your turn is only in 2030…(we working off my schedule here!)
Absolutwillie - *giggling madly* Dude you rock! Come back to SA, we miss you!