07/12/2008 In Just Me by feistyfemale

I was replaying recent conversations I’ve had, over in my head. The conversations involved topics of being single, liking it, hating it, and also the perks of having someone in your life. One major moment of clarity took possession of me.

** NOTE: The following is not really new information – it’s simply a moment of clarity.**

I love being single. I love the freedom. I love the simplicity.

I spent all day at home today. In times of lank tiredness and stress I go into shut-down mode. I can’t seem to talk to friends or even family. I  tend to cut them out and fly below the radar - till I have my wits about me again.  Call it survival, re-energising and getting my mojo back at my own leisure.

There I was  sitting on my balcony daydreaming, pondering life and absorbed in our (Jamie and I) latest project. I was also watching, what must be, one of the most beautiful cities in the world. It occurred to me that honestly was in order:

• I am a talented, independent, confident woman. (Granted that I can be chaotic and slightly unfocused.)
• I have a bit of a “double life” between Cape Town and the Garden Route – and I love it. I love having the best of both worlds.
• I love my life the way it is. It’s action packed, slightly turbulent, interesting, filled with bizarre encounters and tons of adventure.
• I am pretty settled and in my groove in many ways…
• I have an incredibly long to-do list for this lifetime… (I often wonder where I will fit it all in)
• I am in no short supply of love, warmth, entertainment and fun.
• All and all I am in control of my life and  I’m flying…

Does all of this mean that I don’t miss having someone in my life - absolutely not. I do miss having someone to spoil and someone to share things with. But I won’t settle for just anybody. For the right person I will shift into a different gear and prioritize accordingly. For now the honest truth is, that I am having an amazing time, despite occasional turbulence…

I have the luxury of being selfish with my time. I carefully choose with whom and on what I spend time on. I also enjoy just being me – working on incredible projects with awesome people, doing business, changing lives, having fun, being chaotic and essentially contributing to those around me, even if it’s only in some small way.

Bottom-line:  For now I am content and at ease, to simply sit back and be deliriously happy… Listen to Hallo Dolly, sip my glass of Chardonnay, watch the city, know that I have a kick-arse existence and that I am blessed with love from both friends and family. This space in life should be celebrated. It’s a time to dream, think, live passionately, create kick-arse start-ups and absorb each breathtaking moment.